Truth Always Wins

There’s a brilliant scene in the 2015 movie “Concussion” when Dr. Bennet Omalu (played by Will Smith) realized he’s kicked a sleeping bear.

Dr. Omalu’s research shows the brutal damage of repeated hits from football, America’s classic pastime. He warned people not to play the game, a blasphemy for nearly every red-blooded American male and the extremely lucrative college and pro football industry. The movie was absolutely brilliant, and I’ve always believed Smith should have been nominated for an Oscar for his performance.

I’ve also always believed the first person who tells a hard truth pays a steep price. “Concussion” is an exploration of those uncomfortable truths and how society treats the people who speak with candor and honesty.

Truth isn’t welcomed when people don’t want to hear it.

Truth doesn’t always matter when it goes against the grain.

Truth – and the first people who speak it – will be shredded, vilified and discredited.

The first people who said smoking was bad for us were laughed out of the room, usually by smokers who had a cigarette smoldering in an ashtray on their desk.

Everyone smoked – in the office, at the bar, at home, in the car. Lighting a woman’s cigarette was flirtation, an important step in that age-old dance between lovers.

It took decades for the truth of smoking to emerge, years of training elementary school kids about its dangers, increased taxes to discourage purchases, and stricter limits where smoking was allowed.

And yet, truth always wins.

The parables we grew up with reinforce this concept. The Greek goddess Cassandra who would foretell the future but was never heeded or believed. Hans Christian Andersen’s folktale “The Emperor’s New Clothes” tells about a little boy who is laughed at and ridiculed for pointing out those new clothes really aren’t there.

Truth requires all of us to be the person who points out that the Emperor is not wearing any clothes.

The first person who speaks those uncomfortable truths must be prepared to pay the price. Unfair or not – it’s what will happen.

Truth requires honesty.

Truth requires a long game.

But it’s worth it.

Because truth always wins.

A Twitter Friend Gone Too Soon

Back in 2010, Twitter (now known as X) was on fire in Boise, Idaho.

It’s how I was able to connect with PR people and explore the job market in this rare politically blue community nestled in a deeply red state when I moved there in December 2010. It’s how I came to know dozens of people I now consider friends and colleagues. People like Karen Rush Wilson (@KarenR-W), Jessica Flynn (@JessFlynn) of Red Sky, and so many others. It’s how I learned about @CaretoShareBoise and was able to get involved with my community.

Believe it or not, Twitter was how I learned my work at @WCA_Boise had earned Idaho Press Association awards after I left Idaho. Sadly, Twitter is also how I learned of the passing of two people I had come to know through this rarely used social media channel.

In early 2017, the beautiful soul Terri Nicholson died and her husband Scott posted a wonderful photo of her with the announcement. We had several Twitter chats during my time in Idaho, and I still follow her wonderful Twitter feed at @wwwrote. She conquered cancer once, but it returned and won the second round.

Late Friday, Sept. 22, 2023, I happened to catch a post on LinkedIn about the sudden passing of J.J. Saldana (@jjsaldana). He was so much larger than life – on Twitter and in real life. I left Idaho 10 year ago, and J.J. and I still tweeted to each other now and then. Like Terri, he died much too young.

I watched the tweets appear as news spread. J.J.’s friends and close colleagues from all over the Pacific Northwest expressed shock and grief in touching tributes to his work and his flamboyant personality. Fellow Voce board member described his death as “a rip in the universe.” in this excellent story by @DonLDay of @BoiseDev.

Sadly, so many of the people I came to know through Twitter I’ve never met in real life. I never had a chance to meet Terri. J.J. and I only met once – a chance meeting at a popular downtown Boise coffee shop that’s now closed.

When I shared on Twitter that I was leaving Idaho, J.J. tweeted: “We’ll always have Thomas Hammer.”

Godspeed, J.J. Rest in Peace.

Liars and Other Charlatans

As the spokesperson a large state agency, reporters often asked me for confidential information. Many times, state law prevented me from providing the information.

My PRSA Code of Ethics also prevented me from lying. I couldn’t say, “I don’t know” or “I don’t have that information” when I honestly did. Instead, I pointed the reporter to the exact Michigan law that prevented me from sharing the information, often using a phrase like, “I would love to share this information with you, but legally, I cannot. I must comply with the law.”

My mentor once expressed his philosophy on lying quite succinctly:

You lie; you die – at least professionally.

He’s right. Liars have no place in the business world. And yet, right now, “truth” seems to be open for interpretation. (That’s another blog post for the future.)

White Lies Are NOT Kind

We are conditioned to tell white lies, those little half-truths that allow us to get along and go along with the crowd. And they’re just as damaging in the long run.

If someone asks you how they look, you can be kind AND truthful. If someone is sporting a truly awful look, be kind. “You know, I’m not a fan of that style of dress/shirt/jacket, but the color certainly brings out your eyes.”

Or another option: “Do you like it? Because that’s really all that matters! You should always wear things that make you feel confident.”

White lies are like a gateway drug. They signal to everyone that it’s okay to tell half-truths which lead to bigger, more dangerous lies.

Liars Create a Toxic Workplace

One of the questions I often was asked in job interviews was what did I need from my supervisor to be successful. My answer was always the same: “I need honesty and trust from my boss.”

Certainly there are times when my boss cannot share information. If the boss ever says, “I’m sorry, but I can’t share those details right now” then the conversation ends. It’s truthful; it show integrity and demonstrates respect for confidentiality.

I respect honesty and forthright communication, even when information cannot be shared for legitimate reasons.

But, if your boss lies to you, trust is destroyed. Any hope of an honest, respectful professional relationship is gone. If senior leadership routinely provides false information, the workplace is toxic.

You simply can’t trust that anyone will do right by you – no matter what you do in that environment.

Men Behaving Badly and the Missing Woman

Once again, we’re talking about two men and their bad behavior. One told a crass joke. The other slapped him and used profanity during a live broadcast.

Lost in this whole debate over who did wrong is the woman who was wronged by BOTH men.

Her name is Jada Pinkett Smith, an actress and singer, named by Time magazine in 2021 as one of the 100 most influential people in the world. She also has an autoimmune condition, alopecia, which causes hair loss. To cope with this condition, she frequently shaves her head or wears her hair very closely cropped.

The comedian who was hosting the awards show on Sunday night told a crass joke about Pinkett Smith’s appearance and her hair. I purposely refuse to mention his name or link to the gazillion pieces about his so-called “joke.” First of all, in what world is any woman’s appearance a joke? Women do not exist to be pleasing to men or anyone else. Tall, short, fat, skinny, athletic, clumsy, blonde, brunette, redhead or gray – we aren’t here to be fashion plates or uphold some idealized image of beauty and grace.

And yet, we are….

Pinkett Smith grimaced after the comedian told his joke, frowned in what appeared to be dismay. Her husband saw her reaction and bounded up on the stage during a live broadcast and slapped the comedian. When he returned to his seat, he shouted, “Keep my wife’s name our of your fucking mouth.”

Some people view the actions of Pinkett Smith’s husband positively, that he was standing up for his wife and protecting her honor. His actions demonstrate love and respect for his wife.

Bullshit!

Pinkett Smith is not her husband’s property. She’s most definitely her own person and completely capable of defending herself against crass jokes. This is a woman named one of the most influential women in the world! She doesn’t need a man to fight her battles for her.

But we have fallen into the trap of viewing her husband’s actions as heroic, that a man who resorts to violence – whether an open handed slap, a baseball bat or a hail of bullets – is a hero when he’s defending a woman. Think of A Time to Kill or a more recent storyline on A Million Little Things.

Hey guys, let me clue you in on a key piece of advice: When a woman is abused – whether she’s the butt of a joke or viciously raped – sit down, shut up and let her tell you what she needs from you to support her.

Pinkett Smith has all but disappeared from the media stories about the two men and the slap heard ’round the world. The headlines about her are all about how “brave” she is for talking about her alopecia and “going public” with her struggles. As if her hair and how she wears it are anyone’s business.

I watched my sister struggle with hair loss during her chemotherapy. Another dear friend shed tears when she shaved her head during chemo. I colored my own hair for decades to hide the gray. I am guilty of clicking on pictures whenever the Duchess of Cambridge wears her long, chestnut locks in a new style. We are conditioned to view women’s hair as their shining glory.

Meanwhile, we perpetuate these twin myths: that women are there for the male view and that women need a man to defend their honor.

Instead the woman who has been abused has disappeared from the headlines and the debate again focuses on the rightness or wrongness of male actions.

As if the woman never really existed at all — except for her missing hair.

Is Fundraising an Art or a Science?

You meet your donor for coffee and chat about what’s happening in her life. Mostly it’s personal stuff, but you smile, nod and sip your coffee.

She asks about one of your nonprofit’s program and you’re prepared with solid stats and a couple of impact stories. Your donor smiles and shakes her head, yes.

So you make the ask.

Suddenly, the temperature drops 10 degrees, a noticeable change in your donor’s demeanor. She glances at her phone, exclaims over the time and rushes out the door without saying yes, but not saying no either.

You give her a quick hug, and sit back down to finish your coffee, wondering what went wrong. In your mind, you review the steps you’ve taken to cultivate this donor and prepare for the ask.

How you wrote a warm, personal note on the thank-you letter of her and her husband’s third gift this year.

How you took them on of a tour of your facility, showing them the impact of the program for which they both seem to have an affinity. You even invited the chair of your board to join you for this tour, and they discovered they both belonged to the same country club.

How this Power Couple also came to your gala dinner last month, bidding on some high ticket items while seated at a table of other high-end donors.

According to all the training and guides and handbooks on fundraising, you should have had a very willing donor ready to make a substantial gift at your coffee meeting. That’s the science behind fundraising – a series of steps and interactions that ultimately lead to major gifts.

But fundraising is more than a science. A good fundraiser understands the art of fundraising, and knows that sometimes the best ask is no ask.

In this scenario, here’s where a truly savvy fundraiser is going to succeed by recognizing that art.

While it’s true that women tend to be the charitable-giving driver in heterosexual couples, agreement is required from both members of a power couple. In this case, both people needed to be present for a major ask.

Your Power Couple has already made four gifts this year – three smaller donations and one fairly large one at a gala event. Why are you asking again just a month after a major fundraising event? Donors don’t like being treated like ATMs where you consistently make withdrawals.

Your donor started off the meeting talking more about personal topics. The fundraiser would have been smarter to simply follow her donor’s lead and talk about the program the donor asked about, but simply thank the donor for their major gift at the event and talk about how much of an impact it made.

That warm, effusive and genuine gratitude would likely have been carried back to the donor’s spouse in their conversation over dinner or as they were turning in the for the night.

Instead of making an ask, you’ve planted a seed that will grow as the couple continues to be engaged. Perhaps they would have taken your nonprofit’s mission back to their respective businesses as potential recipients of corporate donors.

Perhaps in a few months, you could have invited both of them to dinner with your executive director and made a substantial ask then. With both of them present, after a period of months have passed since their last substantial gift.

That, my friends, is a fundraiser who understands the art of fundraising, one who will be highly successful in using both the art and the science of fundraising.

 

 

 

When Event Fundraising Fails

The COVID-19 Pandemic may have finally finished off event-style fundraising models. Certainly, with the Delta strain surging, we’re all hearing that dreaded death rattle as fundraisers attempt to go back to their familiar standby.

I’ve never been an “event person,” and I most definitely have a bias against events as the primary mode of fundraising. How many golf tournaments, bowl-a-thons, gala parties, or silent (loud?) auctions do we need before recognizing events don’t work.

Sure, people have a lot of fun at parties. Golfers love the chance to play a round on a prestigious course. The artist who “donated” the painting for your silent auction gets a nice charitable gift tax write off when the piece doesn’t sell at the gallery. And your nonprofit just spent a boatload of money and staff hours for a one-time budget boost – assuming your event broke even.

Then, a global pandemic hits and you’re looking at a $50K hole in your fundraising plan. It’s happened far too often in the last couple of years.

Nonprofit gurus have been saying this for years, including Joan Garry. Her post “Why Do So Many Nonprofits Live or Die by Special Events?” outlines exactly why special events are a very poor way to build a successful fundraising plan. They’re expensive, unpredictable and a huge drain on staff time, Garry says.

Finally, they don’t encourage donors to invest in your mission. And that is the crux of why I’ve never been a fan of events as an effective fundraising plan.

I cut my fundraising teeth on the Benevon fundraising model, which is based on building lasting relationships with people who share an affinity for your mission and vision. Sure, the model calls for regular tours and a large-scale annual fundraising breakfast, but these can and should be adapted for virtual tours and small group asks, even one-on-one relationships. It’s not about the menu, the decorations or the swag bags!

It’s all about your mission, the work your nonprofit is doing to achieve its vision and how ordinary people can be an important part of it!

COVID-19 has forced every single nonprofit to re-think event fundraising. Despite the loss of events, nonprofits with a robust variety of fundraising channels with strong, established donor relationships are doing just fine shifting their fundraising plans to these changing times.

Direct mail companies are finding donations growing in average gift size and in new donors. Online giving, including Facebook and Instagram, report growth as campaigns and events go virtual.

If one good thing can come from COVID-19, I hope it encourages nonprofits to scrap large scale events and adopt a more diverse fundraising plan – even when the pandemic is over.

The Three L’s of Leadership

Leadership isn’t about the title nor the salary, but being a role model whom others want to emulate. Anyone can be a leader — from the person sweeping the workroom floor at the end of the day, to the president who issues a media statement outlining her company’s new dress code.

Leadership is about what you do every single day, It’s not your talk, but your walk. In all sectors, for-profit, nonprofit, social good or any other legal configuration, leaders are created by their actions.

Here are three things you can do to develop your own leadership skills.

LISTEN: There’s a reason we are born with two ears and one mouth. A leader understands people need to be seen, heard and understood. Ask questions and truly listen for the responses. Repeat back people’s points to gain clarity. This requires a great deal of empathy to put yourself in someone else’s shoes while trying to gain new perspectives. One of the most challenging aspects of listening is putting aside your own biases and beliefs to try to understand someone with radically different thinking on any subject. But, if you can do that, and develop empathy for someone else’s journey, you’re on your way to being a leader.

LEARN: Some of the strongest leaders I’ve ever met don’t have a college degree. Instead, they’ve taken the time to keep learning, always. If you have an advanced degree or special credentials, good for you. But never, ever rest on those credentials. The best leaders never stop learning, never stop growing. Good leaders know other people have skills and abilities that surpass them and are willing to listen and learn from people who know more.

There’s a school of thought that the skills you have today will be completely outdated in five years. Leaders are always willing to learn new and better ways to do the same work. They are open to change, acknowledging how difficult it can be, and how necessary change is in all things. Leaders frequently become early adopters, willing to test and try new methods and new products.

LITERACY: Leaders who are listening and learning, are automatically going to be literate. But in this case, literacy means the ability to sift through the massive deluge of information to evaluate the source of the information. Leaders read widely and know the value of truthful information. They read a wide variety of media across multiple political spectrums and seek original, peer-reviewed research. They recognize propaganda for what it is, listening of course, but evaluating. Leaders do not allow themselves to be used by people who are less trustworthy to carry a one-sided, incorrect message. They do acknowledge their own biases and will seek out opposing viewpoints simply to become more literate about issues. Being able to evaluate sources is a critical skill for a leader.

Anyone can develop these three skills. In addition to becoming a stronger leader, you’re also going to become a better human, too.

Welcome to the NEW! Disunited States of America

We live in an amazing country!

Where else can an ocean oil rig spew unrefined crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico for weeks, kill 11 people, injure 17 and create an ongoing ecological crisis that will impact sea and shore ecosystems for decades?

Where else can a city’s flawed engineering lead to massive flooding and loss of life following a Category 5 hurricane and a failed emergency response add to the death totals?

Where else can a global pandemic devolve into a political fight with people who are willing to don shirts and shoes to enter a business, but not a cloth mask, calling such public health measures a violation of their rights?

Where else can a freak winter storm cause widespread power failures while an elected officials tells his constituents to solve their own problems because “only the strong will survive.”

Where else can we count on our elected Congressional leaders to pass yet one more continuation budget to keep the federal government operating while the deficit continues to grow exponentially and formulas for infrastructure funding are still based on 1950s era models?

Where else can the Senate fail to convict the leader of an armed insurrection that was seconds away from capturing the nation’s #2 and #3 leaders in the chain of command, but still denounce the attack and call for swift and severe punishments for the rank and file attackers?

Where else can the man who lost an election work actively to support residents in his state after a freak cold snap, but the man who won that election jets off to another country for warm temperatures and sunshine with his family leaving people to die in frigid cold?

Where else can we point fingers and blame all our government leaders and elected officials for all of these horrible, horrible events? Because that’s what we Americans do.

If we don’t like what our elected officials are doing, we have only ourselves to blame. We elect these clowns and jokers!

You. Me. Every single person who cast a ballot in the last election.

It’s easy to say, “Hey, I didn’t vote for him (or her), so don’t blame me!” But what did you do to help get the right candidate elected?

Did you make a donation to your preferred candidate?

Did you  share factual, sourced information about your candidate?

Did you help register other voters? Did you offer to drive family or friends to the polls? Did you volunteer on election day? 

The reality is that the United States of America is a great country, filled with amazing, caring people.  It’s the person who sets up a free pantry on the corner and serves hot blueberry pancakes and soup every weekend for anyone who wants it.

It’s the restaurant owner who pays off the overdue lunch balances at a local school district.

It’s the person who has a wood stove and takes in the neighbors during a major ice storm.

It’s the person in the car ahead of you at the coffee shop drive thru who buys your coffee.

It’s the senior citizen who waits until the first of the month for social security payment and tucks a $5 bill into an envelope for a holiday fundraiser.

It’s easy to focus on the big catastrophes and count up the death toll, but we cannot forget those small, random acts of human kindness all around us. They’re everywhere, our neighbors, our friends, sometimes it’s even you and me.

The next time you cast an elected officials as a villain, demonize someone who holds a different world view than you or toss around the term “fake news” because a legitimate news source reports something that doesn’t align with the latest conspiracy theory on social media, stop and ask yourself this single question:

“What can I do right now, right here with what little I have to make my country a better place for everyone?”

Because if we all do one small, little thing, every single one of us – that would, indeed, be a very big thing.

When No One Believes Reality

Way back in my college news reporting days, I oberved an ugly neon green substance leaking into the Red Cedar River from an aging pipe as I was crossing pedestrian bridge behind the MSU Library. On that cold winter day, I was coming from a class and heading to my afternoon and evening hours at The State News where I worked as an intrepid campus reporter. That neon green substance was going to be my story.

Dozens of phone calls later and several hours of interviews, I learned the pipe was run-off from the nearby Spartan Stadium parking lot and the green liquid was merely the benign chemical used to melt snow and ice in parking lots. It was not toxic, not poisonous and it wasn’t contaminating the Red Cedar. It took several sources to convince me there wasn’t a massive environmental coverup happening on campus. What can I say? I was young, a green reporter [literally and figuratively].

I could have taken a leaf out of a certain Lansing area television journalist’s book and published a story of all the denials, but that’s not responsible journalism. My editor reined me in, and I moved on to another story.

I’m reminded of this every time I read something about how childhood vaccines cause autism. [They don’t.]

Or how our goverment is spraying mind control substances called chemtrails. [It doesn’t.]

Or how the current occupant of the White House insists he won the November election. [He didn’t.]

Or how there were massive voting fraud and schemes. [No evidence has ever been offered. The few errors and anomalies discovered were quickly corrected.]

In fact, about 25% of all Americans and nearly half of all Republicans actually believe Joe Biden’s election win was the direct result of voter fraud. [It wasn’t.]

Despite all the evidence, despite all the explanations from election officials and people trained to count votes, people still don’t want to see the truth – that Joe Biden won the election by winning more votes.

Skepticism is hard wired into my thinking. As a journalist, I lived by the phrases: “Trust, but verify.” and “If your mother says she loves you, get a second source.”

It’s one thing to be skeptical. It’s something else to completely disregard evidence and the truth sitting right in front of you.

Yes it’s true that Donald Trump’s campaign had more than 74 million votes, the highest number of votes an incumbent president has ever earned. Congratulations to him.

But Joe Biden had more than 81 million votes, and his campaign captured 306 electoral college votes. He won the election and will become the 46th President of the United States.

Those are simply facts. And no one gets to make up their own facts.

If we don’t agree on basic facts, we’re never going to be able to live in the same reality.

The last time our nation was this divided over basic facts, there was a civil war….

The (Positive) Power of Social Media

In the aftermath of the 2020 election, social media has taken a beating. From a vile misinformation campaign to widescale threats of violence and even plans to kidnap a governor, social media has been used for dark purposes.

Those of us in the business of using social media know it’s nothing more than a channel, a tool to be used – or manipulated – by human beings who make conscious choices about what they do with these tools.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTock, LinkedIn and more can be used to for good. The purpose depends entirely on the person at the keyboard.

In mid-October, I moved into my new apartment and started a new job the day after movers dropped off all my boxes and furniture. I was completely overwhelmed, trying to find basic things like spoons and a paring knife while learning a new job.

Installing a modem for cable television and a wi-fi router so I could work from home was beyond my limited skills. I asked my new colleague who manages our agency’s IT resources if he could recommend someone with the knowledge and skills to set it up for me.

He shrugged his shoulders and offered to do it himself. I nearly cried in relief – because dealing with Comcast’s Infinity had taken my last ounce of patience.

He came over on a Sunday afternoon, got everything connected and even set up my work laptop so I could work from home, something absolutely vital as the pandemic’s second wave is hitting.

He wouldn’t take any money, but I asked him if he’d like some beer or another beverage of choice. My Mom and Dad raised me to offer something to people who help you out.

“I really love Oberon,” he said sheepishly, “but it’s a seasonal beer and no one has it right now. If you can find it, I’d love some.”

He’s right. I looked everywhere for Oberon by Bell’s Brewery in Southeast Michigan. Then, one evening I turned to Twitter…..

I'm looking for some @BellsBrewery Oberon to repay someone who did me a solid. Anyone in #WestMichigan have a sixpack in storage theyd be willing to put forth for a good cause? PM me.

— Colleen Gehoski Steinman, MA, APR (@cgsteinman) November 17, 2020

One of my followers in the Detroit area RTed my request and one of her followers in East Grand Rapids responded.

https://twitter.com/dedsenga/status/1328517760943611904

We exchanged a few DMs and within 24 hours, I had a six-pack of Oberon to share in thanks for the help connecting my Internet and and cable television. That’s the power of social media when it’s used for all the right reasons!