Older and Wiser, But Never Invisible

I don’t remember exactly when this picture was taken. My best guess is the spring of 1987, when I was 21. It was the ’80s when we all had frizzy permed hair, toned arms and slender legs.

Heavens, those legs. I was a wild child.

Now, more than 35 years later, my hair is straight and fully silver; my body much, much rounder. I have surgical scars, stretch marks and batwing arms. My body has writhed in equal measures of pleasure and pain. It conceived two babies — my now grown son and the one I never talk about.

According to French Author Yann Moix, I’m now “invisible” because my body isn’t “extraordinary” like it was in my 20s. Of course, I don’t look the same. I don’t wear sleeveless shirts anymore. I don’t hike up my skirt to show off my legs. In fact, I’m painfully shy about being naked.

Yet, I am so much more woman – more wise, more deliberate and more powerful. According to The New York Times, the U.S. Census documents more women over 50 in the United States than ever before. Susan Douglas, a University of Michigan professor of communication studies, is writing a book about this changing demographic. 

“Older women are now saying ‘No, I’m still vibrant, I still have a lot to offer, and I’m not going to be consigned to invisibility,’ ” she said. “These women are reinventing what it means to be an older woman.”

I won’t ever be the wild child I was in the spring of 1987. I’ll never be the devoted wife, the stay-at-home mom or the trailing spouse. Those women are gone.

My future remains a blank page, the pen firmly in my grip, waiting to be written.