Truth Always Wins

There’s a brilliant scene in the 2015 movie “Concussion” when Dr. Bennet Omalu (played by Will Smith) realized he’s kicked a sleeping bear.

Dr. Omalu’s research shows the brutal damage of repeated hits from football, America’s classic pastime. He warned people not to play the game, a blasphemy for nearly every red-blooded American male and the extremely lucrative college and pro football industry. The movie was absolutely brilliant, and I’ve always believed Smith should have been nominated for an Oscar for his performance.

I’ve also always believed the first person who tells a hard truth pays a steep price. “Concussion” is an exploration of those uncomfortable truths and how society treats the people who speak with candor and honesty.

Truth isn’t welcomed when people don’t want to hear it.

Truth doesn’t always matter when it goes against the grain.

Truth – and the first people who speak it – will be shredded, vilified and discredited.

The first people who said smoking was bad for us were laughed out of the room, usually by smokers who had a cigarette smoldering in an ashtray on their desk.

Everyone smoked – in the office, at the bar, at home, in the car. Lighting a woman’s cigarette was flirtation, an important step in that age-old dance between lovers.

It took decades for the truth of smoking to emerge, years of training elementary school kids about its dangers, increased taxes to discourage purchases, and stricter limits where smoking was allowed.

And yet, truth always wins.

The parables we grew up with reinforce this concept. The Greek goddess Cassandra who would foretell the future but was never heeded or believed. Hans Christian Andersen’s folktale “The Emperor’s New Clothes” tells about a little boy who is laughed at and ridiculed for pointing out those new clothes really aren’t there.

Truth requires all of us to be the person who points out that the Emperor is not wearing any clothes.

The first person who speaks those uncomfortable truths must be prepared to pay the price. Unfair or not – it’s what will happen.

Truth requires honesty.

Truth requires a long game.

But it’s worth it.

Because truth always wins.

Red Letter Dates

We all have red letter dates littered throughout our lives.

November 8, 1965

The day we were born. The days when loved ones died.

August 15, 1988

Days that brought pure joy, or conversely, deep loss and sadness.

October 28, 1989

We mark them each year, sometimes with a quiet nod. A little smile. Others by pulling the covers over our heads and staying in bed.

January 16, 1991

Even if we forget sometimes, our bodies keep score. Reminding us with a rumbling tummy, a slight headache or a general feeling of dread.

March 14, 2014

Sometimes we smile and delight in a cherished memory. Sometimes those memories are dust causing tears to trickle down our cheeks.

July 7, 2014

They are the dates that clearly mark who we were before, shattering every aspect of the life we’d known and lived. The Before.

August 15, 2014

We take those shards of our soul to create something different. With each step forward on this new “after” path, we find more pieces, different parts of ourselves.

And we create a mosaic from the broken shards, rediscover parts we thought we’d lost and explore a path so different from anything we’d ever imagined.

The goal is to accept what comes After, to craft something whole and beautiful from the pieces left. To be better, not bitter.

The Three L’s of Leadership

Leadership isn’t about the title nor the salary, but being a role model whom others want to emulate. Anyone can be a leader — from the person sweeping the workroom floor at the end of the day, to the president who issues a media statement outlining her company’s new dress code.

Leadership is about what you do every single day, It’s not your talk, but your walk. In all sectors, for-profit, nonprofit, social good or any other legal configuration, leaders are created by their actions.

Here are three things you can do to develop your own leadership skills.

LISTEN: There’s a reason we are born with two ears and one mouth. A leader understands people need to be seen, heard and understood. Ask questions and truly listen for the responses. Repeat back people’s points to gain clarity. This requires a great deal of empathy to put yourself in someone else’s shoes while trying to gain new perspectives. One of the most challenging aspects of listening is putting aside your own biases and beliefs to try to understand someone with radically different thinking on any subject. But, if you can do that, and develop empathy for someone else’s journey, you’re on your way to being a leader.

LEARN: Some of the strongest leaders I’ve ever met don’t have a college degree. Instead, they’ve taken the time to keep learning, always. If you have an advanced degree or special credentials, good for you. But never, ever rest on those credentials. The best leaders never stop learning, never stop growing. Good leaders know other people have skills and abilities that surpass them and are willing to listen and learn from people who know more.

There’s a school of thought that the skills you have today will be completely outdated in five years. Leaders are always willing to learn new and better ways to do the same work. They are open to change, acknowledging how difficult it can be, and how necessary change is in all things. Leaders frequently become early adopters, willing to test and try new methods and new products.

LITERACY: Leaders who are listening and learning, are automatically going to be literate. But in this case, literacy means the ability to sift through the massive deluge of information to evaluate the source of the information. Leaders read widely and know the value of truthful information. They read a wide variety of media across multiple political spectrums and seek original, peer-reviewed research. They recognize propaganda for what it is, listening of course, but evaluating. Leaders do not allow themselves to be used by people who are less trustworthy to carry a one-sided, incorrect message. They do acknowledge their own biases and will seek out opposing viewpoints simply to become more literate about issues. Being able to evaluate sources is a critical skill for a leader.

Anyone can develop these three skills. In addition to becoming a stronger leader, you’re also going to become a better human, too.

Welcome to the NEW! Disunited States of America

We live in an amazing country!

Where else can an ocean oil rig spew unrefined crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico for weeks, kill 11 people, injure 17 and create an ongoing ecological crisis that will impact sea and shore ecosystems for decades?

Where else can a city’s flawed engineering lead to massive flooding and loss of life following a Category 5 hurricane and a failed emergency response add to the death totals?

Where else can a global pandemic devolve into a political fight with people who are willing to don shirts and shoes to enter a business, but not a cloth mask, calling such public health measures a violation of their rights?

Where else can a freak winter storm cause widespread power failures while an elected officials tells his constituents to solve their own problems because “only the strong will survive.”

Where else can we count on our elected Congressional leaders to pass yet one more continuation budget to keep the federal government operating while the deficit continues to grow exponentially and formulas for infrastructure funding are still based on 1950s era models?

Where else can the Senate fail to convict the leader of an armed insurrection that was seconds away from capturing the nation’s #2 and #3 leaders in the chain of command, but still denounce the attack and call for swift and severe punishments for the rank and file attackers?

Where else can the man who lost an election work actively to support residents in his state after a freak cold snap, but the man who won that election jets off to another country for warm temperatures and sunshine with his family leaving people to die in frigid cold?

Where else can we point fingers and blame all our government leaders and elected officials for all of these horrible, horrible events? Because that’s what we Americans do.

If we don’t like what our elected officials are doing, we have only ourselves to blame. We elect these clowns and jokers!

You. Me. Every single person who cast a ballot in the last election.

It’s easy to say, “Hey, I didn’t vote for him (or her), so don’t blame me!” But what did you do to help get the right candidate elected?

Did you make a donation to your preferred candidate?

Did you  share factual, sourced information about your candidate?

Did you help register other voters? Did you offer to drive family or friends to the polls? Did you volunteer on election day? 

The reality is that the United States of America is a great country, filled with amazing, caring people.  It’s the person who sets up a free pantry on the corner and serves hot blueberry pancakes and soup every weekend for anyone who wants it.

It’s the restaurant owner who pays off the overdue lunch balances at a local school district.

It’s the person who has a wood stove and takes in the neighbors during a major ice storm.

It’s the person in the car ahead of you at the coffee shop drive thru who buys your coffee.

It’s the senior citizen who waits until the first of the month for social security payment and tucks a $5 bill into an envelope for a holiday fundraiser.

It’s easy to focus on the big catastrophes and count up the death toll, but we cannot forget those small, random acts of human kindness all around us. They’re everywhere, our neighbors, our friends, sometimes it’s even you and me.

The next time you cast an elected officials as a villain, demonize someone who holds a different world view than you or toss around the term “fake news” because a legitimate news source reports something that doesn’t align with the latest conspiracy theory on social media, stop and ask yourself this single question:

“What can I do right now, right here with what little I have to make my country a better place for everyone?”

Because if we all do one small, little thing, every single one of us – that would, indeed, be a very big thing.

Alone Again, Naturally

Thanks to a global pandemic, a whole lot of people are going to find out what it’s like to spend a holiday alone.

I’m a seasoned pro! This will be my sixth Christmas alone – a 55-year-old divorcee estranged from my grown son. Oh sure, in previous years I’d get together with my parents, my siblings and their families. We exchange Christmas gifts, eat way too much food and spend a lot of time laughing, but it was rarely actually on December 25.

There won’t be a gathering this year – thanks to Covid-19. Sadly, too many others are mourning the loss of loved ones, like Kaylie Hanson Long, a 33-year-old widow.

No matter the reason, being alone for a major holiday isn’t easy. In the early years after my divorce, holidays were hard. Grief never plays nicely, but we humans are remarkably resilient. We adapt and learn ways to cope.

Even before a global pandemic, I’ve come to enjoy this time alone, naturally.

I’m not tempted to overeat. My Thanksgiving dinner this year was a delicious homemade seafood enchilada, heated up in the microwave and served with a tumbler of sweet peach iced tea. I’m going to splurge this year for my Christmas feast on potato chips and French onion chip dip – two things I rarely eat.

I don’t decorate for the holidays. No Christmas tree, no tempermental strings of lights and no mess.

I usually pick a special project that takes intense concentration and time. Or I find a new trail to explore – if the weather isn’t excessively cold and the snow isn’t too deep. This year, I have so many new trails to pick from in my new community.

Holidays are yours to do with whatever you chose – to wallow in your pajamas all day, to binge watch a new series, to make your favorite treat, to splurge on takeout , to volunteer with your favorite organization, or to create something that will be donated.

My plan includes a Zoom Christmas! I spent a very short, masked in-person visit with my parents installing Zoom on my Mom’s phone and laptop so we can still visit and stay stafe. Fingers crossed that everyone’s technology and wi-fi works on December 25!

We have all faced so many challenges this year, suffered so many losses, but being alone on a major holiday doesn’t have to be traumatic. Like so much of life, it’s going to be what we make of it.

My apologies to Gilbert O’Sullivan for using his song lyrics for this post’s title, but it fit.

‘London Has Fallen’ Serves Up More of the Same

Last week I went to see “London Has Fallen.” Gerard Butler plays Mike Banning, President Benjamin Asher’s primary secret service agent. Asher, played by Aaron Eckhart, is targeted in a massive terror attack in London. I won’t give away the main spoilers, but it’s a typical action-packed macho movie with lots of plot twists and some funny lines.

One part of the story really bothered me. Banning’s partner Lynne Jacobs, played by Angela Bassett, is portrayed as a tough as nails, competent and caring agent. She’s tender enough to agree to be godmother to her partner’s infant and smart enough to plan the president’s security detail in London.

I should have known she wouldn’t be given any respect when I saw her emerge in London wearing four-inch stilettos with her serious pants suit. During the initial action scenes, she screams and waits for instruction from her partner. She is clearly not up for the challenging circumstances and ultimately is killed in the opening action scene. [sorry for the spoiler!]

Here’s an opportunity to give a strong black woman a meaty role that shows her intelligence, her skills and her tenacity. Instead she’s a shaky, screaming victim. As soon as she dies, the movie becomes the white boys brotherhood.

I’m a white woman who enjoys a great deal of privilege in my life. I cannot pretend to understand what black women experience and feel. And, it’s entirely possible had the role been cast as a white woman, the outcome would have been the same. Still, I could not ignore that horrible sinking feeling watching Bassett’s character become what happens to too many black women in movies. She’s not only marginalized by being killed off early, she’s portrayed as not being up to the job.

During the 2015 Emmy Awards, Viola Davis, in accepting her award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series, quoted Harriet Tubman and then said this: “You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.”

“The 2015 Hollywood Diversity Report: Flipping the Script” by the Ralph J. Bunch Center for African American Studies at UCLA documents the dismal showing of people of color in the entertainment industry. The disconnect is especially apparent because audience composition reflects this nation’s diversity and box office success also is just as likely to come to films with diverse casts.

Bassett played her “London” role well. She’s an outstanding actress, albeit severely limited by typecasting and marginalized in one of the most cruel ways possible. Casting her in this highly visible character for the movie was a smart decision. The producers, however, didn’t follow through on their promise to develop her character. Despite Davis’ moving speech, despite all the attention called to the need for meaningful roles for women of color, we’re still being subjected to more of the same.

 

Special thanks to my former State News colleague and friend Rhonda Sewell, who pointed me to the study and read a draft of this piece.

A PR Professional’s View of the Fourth Estate

I finally got a chance to watch “Spotlight” this weekend. As a former police reporter, I sympathized with the Boston Globe team’s anguish over the impact of the story, their loss of faith and their empathy for the abuse victims.

The movie did an excellent job of exploring the role of investigative reporting as a business model and as a voice for its readers. It’s become fashionable to blame the media for failing to offer balanced news and information. And, it’s a business shrinking faster than any other right now.

But just imagine a world without reporters, without a team of dedicated journalists who refuse to let a story die, who won’t give up in the face of endless bureaucracy, stonewalling and outright lies.

What if Curt Guyette and Ron Fonger gave up following the lead levels in Flint’s water system?

What if Chad Livengood had dismissed those recordings of Todd Courser?

What if M.L. Elrick and Jim Schaefer hadn’t dogged Kwame Kilpatrick?

What if no one had written a single line about Ricky Holland, the little boy who died at the hands of his adoptive parents?

I’m thankful for those hard-nosed, bulldogged reporters who won’t let a story die. It might seem like a strange position for a public relations professional. After all, I’ve been on the receiving end of those dogged reporters.

But I understand the power of the press and its role in a democracy. It’s truly frightening to see the number of reporters declining so dramatically and the press contracting. Without a strong, well-trained cadre of journalists acting in the role of watchdog, democracy is at risk.

Yes, this is a PR professional saying that I want those reporters asking questions and sharing stories about wrongdoing. This PR professional has a deep respect for their work. I was trained as a journalist first, well before my career in public relations. I take the responsibility of the press to act as the Fourth Estate very seriously.

Effective media relations –a sound public relations strategy – won’t cover up or gloss over bad management and illegal actions. Sure, it’s not fun being on the end of those questions, and I don’t enjoy seeing stories critical of the organization I represent.

Public Relations Society of America ethical guidelines encourage the free flow of information without compromising proprietary or confidential information. It can be summed up in a very short rule I was taught by a long-time PR pro: You lie; you die – at least professionally.

I’ve felt anguish when I could not share confidential information with a reporter asking legitimate questions, and I have always explained why I could not answer fully and honestly. It’s a very uncomfortable position to be in, especially if the reporter becomes hostile.

But the alternative – a democracy without the Fourth Estate – is something I dread even more.

 

Image from Flickr Creative Commons: Artur Czachowski Photostream

Wishes and Hope Won’t Make It Happen

Imagine you’re about to head out for your annual vacation. Two full weeks away from the office, and you’re leaving your phone at home! Total bliss.

No idea where you’re going. No destination in mind. No plans, no maps, no commitments. Just get in the car and explore where the road takes you.

But wait a minute. Is your car ready for such a long trip?

Do you have enough cash for gas, hotels and food?

Have you checked to see if there are hotels where you’re going?

Did you pack the right clothes for the climate and the weather?

What if you want to meet some friends along the way? Have you checked in with their plans?

Suddenly those two weeks of bliss might not go quite the way you planned.

Imagine what would happen if you lived your life this way every single day. Showed up for work when you felt like it, picked the project that interested you the most on any given day. Deadlines? Project milestones? Meetings? Who needs ‘em? Just go with what feels good that day.

It’s not as unusual as you think?

Does your company have a vision and a mission? Do you know what your department’s plan is to support that mission? What are the goals and milestones for this month or this quarter to help meet that vision? Do you know?

If you don’t have a strategic plan, you’re just wandering in the weeds. You might work your fanny off every single day, dousing fires and handling emergencies, but how does it get you, your team and your company closer to your goal?

You’re confusing motion with progress.

A good strategic plan isn’t much different than planning your vacation. You pick your destination(s), plan your route, budget for expenses and take lots of selfies to share your progress. Sure, you build in some flexibility and adapt as plans change, but there’s still a destination in mind, an overall goal.

What is amazing to me is just how many people go to work every single day and work hard at their jobs and never know or fully understand how – or if – their actions are helping advance the company’s goals. It’s a lot more common than you think.

If your boss and your company’s leadership haven’t told you or involved you in helping set those goals, shame on them. But, have you asked? Did you blow off the strategic planning session at the beginning of the fiscal year? If you did, then shame on you.

Wishing something would happen isn’t a plan, and hope isn’t a successful strategy.

Image from Flickr Creative Commons: BetterBizIdeas Photo Stream.

Grateful for the Dance

I went back to the old ‘hood today. Our former neighbors’ “little” girl was having a graduation open house.

In the last six years, she’s grown into a lovely young woman who wants to be a nurse and will head off to join her big brother at college in the fall.

It was wonderful to see her family and reconnect, however briefly, with old friends. But after only 30 minutes, I was struggling to hold it together. I said my goodbyes and walked down the street to take few snapshots of the home where my family was last intact and whole.

The trees are so much taller, the bushes are so overgrown, and that big ol’ messy shaggy bark hickory tree is still a big mess.

I cried the whole way home, wondering how different things would have been had I stayed here in the Lansing area in 2009 when it all started to unravel.

I never would have met the wonderful people I still count as friends in Tallahassee and Boise and Tampa.

I never would have walked the sandy beaches and enjoyed the salt water of St. George Island, seen the salty marshes of St. Marks and its lighthouse, nor lived in the beautiful Southwood with its wisteria-lined streets.

I never would have explored the high plains deserts of the Owyhee Mountains, the Sawtooth passes from Stanley to Sun Valley, the shores of mighty Lake Pend Oreille nor explored the stark, barren landscape of Craters of the Moon.

I wouldn’t have driven across this beautiful country of ours – twice.

I would have never had the opportunity to work on Florida’s very first drowsy driving awareness campaign nor witnessed a community rally around a stolen stained glass butterfly.

As that beautiful song by Garth Brooks says, I would have missed this bittersweet pain, but I also would have missed all the wonderful things that have happened in the last six years.

So tonight as I sit alone on my weathered deck, listen to the birds shrill calls, feel the cool evening breezes, breathe in the evening dew and watch the golden red sun sink into the horizon, I reminisce about all the things I have gained on this journey and all that has brought me to this point, to this here and now.

I am no longer a wife, no longer a mother and no longer a resident of that wonderful neighborhood. But I am still grateful for the dance….

Leave the Red Pen to Professionals

Would you tell a dental hygienist, an auto mechanic or an ER nurse how to do their jobs? Imagine, for just one minute, what you might sound like.

At your bi-annual dental checkup: “Don’t you think it would be better to polish my teeth before you remove the plaque? After all, that way you can remove all the grit while you’re in there.”

At the auto dealership’s service department: “Why don’t you loosen two of the lugnuts on every tire before hoisting it up. I just think it would be easier to remove the rest of them before you rotate my tires.”

At your local hospital in the emergency room: “Right there, I want you to put that IV in to this vein in my left arm. Doesn’t that look like a better vein than the one you found?”

Pretty tough to imagine, isn’t it?

Yet it happens to me every single day on the job. Every. Single. Day. Everyone else knows how to do my job better than I do. Or so they think.

With college degrees in journalism and professional writing, I have been paid to write since 1983 (except for time off to raise a child). I spent nearly a decade teaching people how to write. I have a fair number of award plaques and certificates to go along with my boxes and boxes of clippings and a thick portfolio.

Despite all this, people routinely tell me how to how to punctuate a sentence and where commas go.

Who are these people? They are fundraisers, recruiters, policy specialists, secretaries, park rangers, attorneys, managers and leaders. They are highly skilled, successful professionals. Many of them have outstanding verbal and written communication skills. They write proposals, memos, reports, legal briefs and much more. There’s no doubt that they have expertise and skills to add to the piece – as subject matter experts.

But they are not writers. Nor are they qualified to be editors.

Let me take a moment to salute editors. Every writer needs a good editor, someone with the skills and training to see the work as a whole along with the myriad details of punctuation, usage and grammar. I’m not opposed to the input and skills of a trained editor. Writing is a craft I’m always learning, and a good editor is always welcomed.

But ask yourself this the next time you find yourself tempted to tell a professional writer how to do her job. How you would feel is someone with no training and no experience told you how to do yours? Then turn your red pen over to a professional, please!

 

Image from Flickr Creative Commons: S10N’s Photostream